I finished my lesson for my young women that has been on my mind for the last month or so. I feel like it is "my magnum opus, my great work" for this month. (Charlotte's Web) I taught the lesson on Sunday. I feel like it went well. I had WAY too much material, but I don't feel like my preparation was wasted. I was glad to be able to have choices of what to share as the lesson progressed.
Combined Young Women Lesson – How can I
become more Christlike? How to resolve Conflicts
October 12, 2014
Give
each young woman a copy of the attribute activity on page 126 of
Preach My Gospel, and ask her to take a few
minutes to complete the self-evaluation.
·
Invite the young women to share
what they learn from this activity.
·
Invite a few to share a
Christlike attribute they admire in one of the other young women in the ward.
“Following
Christ is not a casual or occasional practice but a continuous commitment and
way of life that applies at all times and in all places.” –
Elder Oaks
Invite the young women
to search individually or in
small groups for attributes of Christ or attributes of a Christian in
Dallin H. Oaks’ talk “
Followers of Christ”.
·
Ask the
young women to list what they find on the board and to add to the list other
attributes or characteristics of Christ they can think of.
Group 1
Excerpt
from Dallin H. Oaks’ talk “Followers of Christ”
Like all other Christians, members of The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints study the life of our Savior as reported in the New
Testament books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I will review examples and
teachings contained in these four books of the Holy Bible and invite each of us
and all other Christians to consider how this restored Church and each of us
qualify as followers of Christ.
Jesus taught that baptism was necessary to enter the
kingdom of God (see John
3:5).
He began His ministry by being baptized (see Mark
1:9), and He and His followers baptized others (see John
3:22–26). We do likewise.
Jesus began His preaching by inviting His listeners to
repent (see Matthew
4:17).
That is still His servants’ message to the world.
Throughout His ministry Jesus gave commandments. And He
taught, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John
14:15;
see also verses 21,
23).
He affirmed that keeping His commandments would require His followers to leave
what He called “that which is highly esteemed among men” (Luke
16:15)
and “the tradition of men” (Mark
7:8;
see also verse 13). He
also warned, “If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but
because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world,
therefore the world hateth you” (John
15:19).
As the Apostle Peter later declared, the followers of Jesus were to be “a
peculiar people” (1 Peter
2:9).
Latter-day Saints understand that we should not be “of
the world” or bound to “the tradition of men,” but like other followers of
Christ, we sometimes find it difficult to separate ourselves from the world and
its traditions. Some model themselves after worldly ways because, as Jesus said
of some whom He taught, “they loved the praise of men more than the praise
of God” (John
12:43).
These failures to follow Christ are too numerous and too sensitive to list
here. They range all the way from worldly practices like political correctness
and extremes in dress and grooming to deviations from basic values like the
eternal nature and function of the family.
Jesus’s teachings were not meant to be theoretical. Always
they were to be acted upon. Jesus taught, “Whosoever heareth these
sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man” (Matthew
7:24;
see also Luke
11:28)
and “Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing”
(Matthew
24:46).
In another beloved hymn we sing:
Savior,
may I learn to love thee,
Walk
the path that thou hast shown. …
Savior,
may I learn to love thee—
Lord,
I would follow thee.3
As Jesus taught, those who love Him will keep His
commandments. They will be obedient, as President Thomas S. Monson
taught this morning. Following Christ is not a casual or occasional practice
but a continuous commitment and way of life that applies at all times and in
all places. The Savior taught this principle and how we should be reminded and
strengthened to follow it when He instituted the ordinance of the sacrament
(communion, as others call it). We know from modern revelation that He
commanded His followers to partake of the emblems in remembrance of Him (see Joseph
Smith Translation, Matthew 26:22 [in Matthew 26:26, footnote
c], 24 [in
the Bible appendix]; Joseph
Smith Translation, Mark 14:21–24 [in the Bible appendix]).
Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints follow that
commandment each week by attending a worship service in which we partake of the
bread and water and covenant that we will always remember Him and keep His
commandments.
- Baptized
- Inviting others to repent – missionary work
- to leave what He called “that which is highly
esteemed among men”
- Not of the world
- Love the praise of God more than men
- Choose to Act on teachings
- Obedient
- Remember Jesus by taking the sacrament
Choose
to Act
I would like to talk about and expound
on some of these attributes we've listed on the board. What does it mean to choose to act, not to be acted
upon. A good example of this happens in
the movie Frozen. There are a lot of
gospel truths in that movie, but the one I want to share today is at the end of
the movie. Anna is told that she needs
an act of true love to reverse her frozen heart. She gives an act of love by saving her sister
Elsa instead of waiting for an act of true love to come to her. She acts instead of waiting to be acted upon. We need to act on the teachings of Jesus
Christ instead of waiting for people to act and do them to us first.
Group
2
Excerpt
from Dallin H. Oaks’ talk “Followers of Christ”
Jesus taught that “men ought always to pray” (Luke
18:1).
He also set that example, such as when He “continued all night in prayer to
God” (Luke
6:12)
before He called His Twelve Apostles. Like other Christians, we pray in all our
worship services. We also pray for guidance, and we teach that we should have
frequent personal prayers and daily kneeling prayers as a family. Like Jesus,
we pray to our Father in Heaven, and we do so in the sacred name of Jesus
Christ.
The Savior called Twelve Apostles to assist in His Church
and gave them the keys and authority to carry on after His death (see Matthew
16:18–19; Mark
3:14–15; 6:7; Luke
6:13).
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as the restored Church of
Jesus Christ, follows this example in its organization and in its conferral of
keys and authority on Apostles.
Some whom Jesus called to follow Him did not respond
immediately but sought a delay to attend to proper family obligations. Jesus
replied, “No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is
fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke
9:62).
Many Latter-day Saints practice the priority Jesus taught. This includes the
wonderful example of thousands of senior missionaries and others who have left
children and grandchildren to perform the missionary duties to which
they have been called.
Jesus taught that God created male and female and that a man
should leave his parents and cleave to his wife (see Mark
10:6–8). Our commitment to this teaching is well known.
In the familiar parable of the lost sheep, Jesus taught
that we should go out of our way to seek after any of the flock who have
strayed (see Matthew
18:11–14; Luke
15:3–7). As we know, President Thomas S. Monson has given
great emphasis to this direction in his memorable example and teachings about
rescuing our fellow men and women.4
In our efforts to rescue and serve, we follow our
Savior’s unique example and tender teachings about love: “Thou shalt love
thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew
22:39).
He even commanded us to love our enemies (see Luke
6:27–28). And in His great teachings at the end of His mortal
ministry, He said:
“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one
another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if
ye have love one to another” (John
13:34–35).
As part of loving one another, Jesus taught that when
we are wronged by persons, we should forgive them (see Matthew
18:21–35; Mark
11:25–26; Luke
6:37).
While many struggle with this difficult commandment, we all know of inspiring
examples of Latter-day Saints who have given loving forgiveness, even for the
most serious wrongs. For example, Chris Williams drew upon his faith in Jesus
Christ to forgive the drunken driver who caused the death of his wife and two
of their children. Only two days after the tragedy and still deeply distraught,
this forgiving man, then serving as one of our bishops, said, “As a disciple of
Christ, I had no other choice.”5
- Pray
- Gives keys and authority to carry on His work
- No looking back – missionary work
- Seek for a happy marriage
- Rescue
- “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself”
- love our enemies
- Charity - love one another; as I have loved
you
- Forgiveness
Love
thy Neighbor as Thyself
Lets talk about “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as
thyself”. How do we love others? Be Kind. Try not to offend others. If you find out you have offended others,
even if you did not do it on purpose, apologize and make things right. Even if people are
purposely or
unintentionally unkind to you, be kind to them.
Dallin H. Oaks said, “Many teachers in church and school have
grieved at the way some teenagers, including LDS youth, treat one another. The
commandment to love one another surely includes love and respect across
religious lines and also across racial, cultural, and economic lines. We
challenge all youth to avoid bullying, insults, or language and practices that
deliberately inflict pain on others. All of these violate the Savior’s command
to love one another” (Dallin
H. Oaks, Loving Others and Living with Differences).
For the
Strength of Youth teaches us, “Speak
kindly and positively about others.
Choose not to insult others or put them down, even in joking. Avoid gossip of any kind, and avoid speaking
in anger. When you are tempted to say
harsh or hurtful things, leaven them unsaid.” If you can’t say something nice, don’t say
nothing at all!
In the phrase “thou shalt love thy neighbor
as thyself” we are also commanded to love ourselves. If we don’t have good self-esteem, it is hard
to love others. How can we develop good self-esteem? In General Conference last Saturday
afternoon, Elder Klebingat shared six
suggestions that, if heeded, he promised will bring spiritual confidence. When we have spiritual confidence, I
believe that it will also bring self-esteem and help us to love ourselves. He also
promised, “You can begin increasing your spiritual confidence today if you are
willing to listen and act.” The
six suggestions are:
“1. Take responsibility for your own spiritual well-being. Stop blaming others
or your circumstances, stop justifying, and stop making excuses for why you may
not be fully striving to be obedient. Accept that you are “free according to
the flesh” and “free to choose liberty and eternal life” (2 Nephi 2:27). The
Lord knows your circumstances perfectly, but He also knows perfectly well
whether you simply choose not to fully live the gospel. If that is the case, be
honest enough to admit it, and strive to be perfect within your own sphere of
circumstances. Spiritual confidence increases when you take responsibility for
your own spiritual well-being by applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ daily.
“2. Take responsibility for your own physical well-being. Your soul consists of
your body and spirit (see D&C 88:15). Feeding the spirit while neglecting
the body, which is a temple, usually leads to spiritual dissonance and lowered
self-esteem. If you are out of shape, if you are uncomfortable in your own body
and can do something about it, then do it! Elder Russell M. Nelson has taught
that we should “regard our body as a temple of our very own” and that we should
“control our diet and exercise for physical fitness” (“We Are Children of
God,”Ensign, Nov. 1998, 87; Liahona, Jan. 1999, 103).
“President Boyd K. Packer has taught “that our spirit and our body are combined
in such a way that our body becomes an instrument of our mind and the
foundation of our character” (“The Instrument of Your Mind and the Foundation
of Your Character” [Church Educational System fireside, Feb. 2, 2003], 2; speeches.byu.edu). Therefore, please use good judgment in what and especially
how much you eat, and regularly give your body the exercise it needs and
deserves. If you are physically able, decide today to be the master of your own
house and begin a regular, long-term exercise program, suited to your
abilities, combined with a healthier diet. Spiritual confidence increases when
your spirit, with the help of the Savior, is truly in charge of your natural
man or woman.
“3. Embrace voluntary, wholehearted obedience as part of your life. Acknowledge
that you cannot love God without also loving His commandments. The Savior’s
standard is clear and simple: “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John
14:15). Selective obedience brings selective blessings, and choosing something
bad over something worse is still choosing wrong. You can’t watch a bad movie
and expect to feel virtuous because you did not watch a very bad one. Faithful
observance of some commandments doesn’t justify neglecting others.
“4. Become really, really good at repenting
thoroughly and quickly. Because the Atonement of Jesus Christ is very
practical, you should apply it generously 24/7, for it never runs out. ...
Establish an attitude of ongoing, happy, joyful repentance by making it your
lifestyle of choice. In doing so, beware of the temptation to procrastinate,
and don’t expect the world to cheer you on. Keeping your eyes on the Savior,
care more about what He thinks of you, and let the consequences follow.
Spiritual confidence increases when you voluntarily and joyfully repent of
sins, both small and great, in real time by applying the Atonement of Jesus
Christ.
“5. Become really, really good at forgiving. “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I
will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:10).
Forgive everyone, everything, all the time, or at least strive to do so, thus
allowing forgiveness into your own life. Don’t hold grudges, don’t be easily
offended, forgive and forget quickly, and don’t ever think that you are exempt
from this commandment. Spiritual confidence increases when you know that the
Lord knows that you bear no ill feelings toward another soul.
“6. Accept trials, setbacks, and “surprises” as part of your mortal experience.
Remember that you are here to be proved and tested, “to see if [you] will do
all things whatsoever the Lord [your] God shall command [you]” (Abraham
3:25)--and may I just add, “under all circumstances.” Millions of your brothers
and sisters have been or are being thus tested, so why would you be exempt?
Some trials come through your own disobedience or negligence. Other trials come
because of the negligence of others or simply because this is a fallen world.
When these trials come, the adversary’s minions begin broadcasting that you did
something wrong, that this is a punishment, a sign that Heavenly Father does
not love you. Ignore that! Instead, try to force a smile, gaze heavenward, and
say, “I understand, Lord. I know what this is. A time to prove myself, isn’t
it?” Then partner with Him to endure well to the end. Spiritual confidence
increases when you accept that “often trials and tribulations are allowed to
come into [your life] because of what [you] are doing right” (Glenn L. Pace,
“Crying with the Saints” [Brigham Young University devotional, Dec. 13, 1987],
2; speeches.byu.edu).” (Elder Klebingat, Approaching the Throne of God with
Confidence)
I love that many of his suggestions are
the Christlike attributes that we have written on the board. When we become more like Christ, we will love
ourselves more!
Forgiveness
let's talk about forgiveness. A trick that makes it easier to keep
the commandment to forgive is to not be easily offended by others in the first
place. Elder Bednar said, “As sons and daughters of our Heavenly
Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for
independent action and choice. Endowed
with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be
acted upon. To believe that someone or
something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes
our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power
to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation.” We have the power to choose to act,
we can choose not to take offense.
However, what if you are really trying
not to take offense and not to be hurt, but you have those feelings and they
won’t go away? In Lesson 8 in the New
Testament: Gospel Doctrine Teacher’s Manual it gives a great step in the
forgiveness process. It says, “What
should we do when someone has offended us?”
It directs us to Matthew 18:15 for that answer. “Moreover
if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between
thee and him alone; if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” In that scripture we learn that we need
to go to the person who hurt us and tell them that how they've hurt us. I would suggest that this should be done
prayerfully and in complete humility, that means owning up to what you may have
done wrong in the situation. An apology
should not be demanded. If someone does
something that bothers you or hurts you, don’t go around behind their backs
telling others about how they have wronged you.
That would be wrong. I don’t know
how many times I’ve told my children just because someone does something mean
to you it doesn’t make it right for you to do something mean back to them. Two wrongs don’t make a right. J
The Gospel Doctrine lesson I mentioned
earlier also asks, “What are the dangers of waiting for a person who has
offended us to ask for our forgiveness?”
Or in other words, why is it dangerous to wait for others to apologize
first before we forgive them? The lesson
manual directs us to D&C 64:8-11for that answer. “My
disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not
one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely
chastened. Wherefore, I say unto you,
that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his
trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the
greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive
whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God
judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.”
In the Feb. 2013 New Era it says, “One of my friends really offended me. I know I’m supposed to be forgiving, but how
do I get over the hurt? Forgiving your
friend and letting go of hurt feelings can be difficult. To forgive and to get over the hurt feelings
will require mercy—yours and the Lord’s.
Your job is not to try to get over the hurt but to forgive: to show
mercy to your friend. As you do, the
Lord, if you seek His help, will show mercy to you. That is, He can replace your hurt feelings
with love and peace. Talk to your
friend. Seek to understand what
happened. You may find that your friend
did not mean to hurt you, which could make it easier to forgive and get over
the hurt. Even if forgiveness is hard or
takes a long time, keep trying.
Eventually, you will want to let your friend know that you forgive him
or her and still want to be friends.
Holding a grudge at the cost of a friendship can never lead to the peace
that comes from true forgiveness.” I
love how this teaches us that although forgiveness doesn’t come quickly, it
will come if we keep trying and if we keep seeking the Lord’s help.
Charity
What is Charity? “The
Apostle Paul taught that when we have charity we are filled with good feelings
for all people. We are patient and
kind. We are not boastful or proud,
selfish or rude. When we have charity we
do not remember or rejoice in the evil others have done. Neither do we do good things just because it
is to our advantage. Instead, we share
the joy of those who live by truth. When
we have charity we are loyal, we believe the best of others, and we are kind to
them. The scripture teach that ‘charity never faileth.’
“The Savior was our
example of how to feel toward and treat other.
He despised wickedness, but He loved sinners in spite of their
sins. He had compassion for children,
the elderly, the poor, and the needy. He
had such great love that He could beg our Heavenly Father to forgive the
soldiers who drove the nails into His hands and feet. … He said, “I say unto you, Love your
enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for
them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. … For if ye love them that
love you, what reward have ye?” We must
learn to feel toward others as Jesus did” (Gospel Principle Manual, Chapter 30:
Charity).
When you have Charity, “you will avoid negative feelings such as
anger, envy, lust, or covetousness. You
will avoid judging others, criticizing them, or saying negative things about
them. You will try to understand them
and their points of view. You will be
patient with them and try to help them when they are struggling or
discouraged. Charity, like faith, leads
to action. You will develop charity as
you look for opportunities to serve others and give of yourself” (Preach My
Gospel, How do I develop Christlike Attributes?, Chapter 6).
In Pres. Uchtdorf’s recent talk in
Woman’s conference he shared a quote that really explains Charity and how God
loves us. He said, “God loves you this very day and always.
He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses
and bad habits. He loves you today with
a full understanding of your struggles. … He loves you for extending yourself
to others. He loves you for reaching out
and helping others bear their heavy burdens—even when you are struggling with
your own. He knows everything about
you. He sees you clearly—He knows you as
you really are. And He loves you—today and
always! Do you suppose it matters to our
Heavenly Father whether your makeup, clothes, hair and nails are perfect? … Do you think outward attractiveness, your
dress size, or popularity make the slightest difference in your worth to the
One who created the universe? He loves
you not only for who you are this very day but also for the person of glory and
light you have the potential and the desire to become” (Living the Gospel
Joyful, Sept. 2014 General Woman’s Conference).
Isn’t it wonderful how God loves us?
God wants us to love others in that same way.
Group
3
Excerpt
from Dallin H. Oaks’ talk “Followers of Christ”
Most Christians give to the poor and the needy, as
Jesus taught (see Matthew
25:31–46; Mark
14:7).
In following this teaching of our Savior, The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints and its members excel. Our members make generous
contributions to charities and give personal service and other gifts to the
poor and needy. In addition, our members fast for two meals each month and
donate at least the cost of these meals as a fast offering, which our
bishops and branch presidents use to help our needy members. Our fasting to
help the hungry is an act of charity and, when done with pure intent, is a
spiritual feast.
Less well known is our Church’s global humanitarian service.
Using funds donated by generous members, The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints sends food, clothing, and other essentials to relieve the
suffering of adults and children all over the world. These humanitarian
donations, totaling hundreds of millions of dollars in the last decade, are
made without any consideration of religion, race, or nationality. …
In His last biblical teaching, our Savior directed His
followers to take His teachings to every nation and every creature. From
the beginning of the Restoration, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints has sought to follow that teaching. Even when we were a poor and
struggling new church with only a few thousand members, our early leaders sent
missionaries across the oceans, east and west. As a people, we have continued
to teach the Christian message until today our unique missionary program has
more than 60,000 full-time missionaries, plus thousands more who serve
part-time. We have missionaries in over 150 countries and territories worldwide.
As part of His great Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught, “Be
ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew
5:48).
The purpose of this teaching and the purpose of following our Savior is to come
to the Father, whom our Savior referred to as “my Father, and your Father; and
… my God, and your God” (John
20:17).
From modern revelation, unique to the restored gospel, we
know that the commandment to seek perfection is part of God the Father’s plan
for the salvation of His children. Under that plan we are all heirs of
our heavenly parents. “We are the children of God,” the Apostle Paul taught,
“and if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ” (Romans
8:16–17). This means, as we are told in the New Testament, that
we are “heirs … of eternal life” (Titus
3:7)
and that if we come to the Father, we are to “inherit all things” (Revelation
21:7)—all
that He has—a concept our mortal minds can hardly grasp. But at least we can
understand that achieving this ultimate destiny in eternity is possible only if
we follow our Savior, Jesus Christ, who taught that “no man cometh unto the
Father, but by me” (John
14:6).
We seek to follow Him and become more like Him, here and hereafter. So it is
that in the final verses of our hymn “Come, Follow Me,” we sing:
Is
it enough alone to know
That
we must follow him below,
While
trav’ling thru this vale of tears?
No,
this extends to holier spheres. …
For
thrones, dominions, kingdoms, pow’rs,
And
glory great and bliss are ours,
If
we, throughout eternity,
Obey
his words, “Come, follow me.”7
I testify of our Savior, Jesus Christ, whose teachings
and example we seek to follow. He invites all of us who are heavy laden to come
unto Him, to learn of Him, to follow Him, and thus to find rest to our souls
(see Matthew
4:19;
11:28). I
testify of the truth of His message and of the divine mission and authority of
His restored Church in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
- Give to the poor and
needy
- Fast for 2 meals each
month
- Share the gospel with
every nation and every creature
- Be ye therefore
perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect”
Be Ye Therefore
Perfect
Let’s talk about the commandment to be perfect. Footnote 48b in Matthew 5:48 says that
an alternate Greek translation of the word perfect is “complete, finished,
fully developed.” The command should
motivate us rather than frustrate us.
President Joseph Fielding Smith said:
“I
believe the Lord meant just what he said: that we should be perfect, as our
Father in heaven is perfect. That will
not come all at once, but line upon line, and precept upon precept, example
upon example, and even then not as long as we live in this mortal life, for we
will have to go even beyond the grave before we reach that perfection and shall
be like God.
“But
here we lay the foundation. Here is
where we are taught these simple truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ, in this
probationary state, to prepare us for that perfection. It is our duty to be better today than we
were yesterday, and better tomorrow than we are today. … If we are keeping the
commandments of the Lord, we are on that road to perfection” (Lesson 8 in the
New Testament: Gospel Doctrine Teacher’s Manual).
Sis. Linda K. Burton said, “As we try our best to move forward along the covenant path, we become
more complete and perfect in this life.”
We don’t have to be perfect today, we don’t have to be perfect
tomorrow. We just need to do a little
better every day.
Invite them to think of a difficult situation they are
facing in their own lives. How would these attributes of Christ help them
respond to the situation appropriately?
I hope we can develop these Christlike attributes and apply
them in all our relationships—at home, at school, at play and especially at
church and activities with our fellow young women. There are enough issues that have to be dealt
with out in the “world” that it should not be happening in our young women’s
classes. I hope that we will love each
other, stick up for each other, and bare each other’s burdens. We come to church to fix ourselves and to
encourage others.
In closing I’d like to share this quote from Elder Hales. “For
many, the call to be a Christian can seem demanding, even overwhelming. But we
need not be afraid or feel inadequate. The Savior has promised that He will
make us equal to His work. “Follow me,” He said, “and I will make you fishers
of men.” As we follow Him, He blesses us with gifts, talents, and the strength
to do His will, allowing us to go beyond our comfort zones and do things we’ve
never before thought possible” (Being a More Christian Christian).
