November 13, 2016
Dear loved ones,
The last few weeks
have had some hard emotional trials for me.
The first trial was a cancer scare.
Friday Oct. 21st I noticed a lump on my breast. I have
had pain on and off in it for a few years. It would come and go with my menstrual
cycle. The pain has gotten worse over the last few months. I was
able to get in to see the doctor on Tuesday, Nov. 1st to see what was going
on. I was very scared. I couldn’t
sleep well because I would wake up worried about it. I emailed Chad’s and
my parents and siblings for prayers so I could feel peace and so the doctors could
correctly diagnose what was causing the pain and the lump.
The prayers were
answered and I felt comforted by them. At my appointment on Nov. 1st the doctor
noticed the lump and did an ultrasound on it. He could see on the ultrasound
that it is a fluid filled cyst. He said those are almost always benign and it
should go away on its own. He told me to pay attention to it and let him know
if it gets worse. As long as it stays the same we will just keep an eye on it
at my yearly exams. No further steps need to be taken. I am very relieved.
I have gained a greater appreciation of having
people to help bear my burdens. I was so worried before I sent out the email to
my family asking for prayers that I was crying on and off all day long for
several days. After the email I got a call from my sister letting me know she
has had similar lumps and they weren't cancerous. I felt much better after her
call and I also felt comforted that so many loved ones were praying for
me. I didn’t cried about it after that.
I'm very lucky to have so much love and support.
The second emotional trial happened Friday. On our neighborhood Facebook page a neighbor
posted a picture that was inappropriate.
I love to be a part of the neighborhood page, and I felt that if no one
said anything about that picture it would get worse. So I respectfully asked that we keep the neighborhood
page more PG. I received lots of backlash. People, mostly men, ridiculed me, made fun of
me, posted more inappropriate pictures, started posting pictures of garments
(not sure how that all came about), said I was attacking them, etc.. It was so hard for me. I had several friends stick up for me and
agree with me, but it was to no avail. I
left it up for as long as I did because I felt my stance was important and I
would take the beating if it meant things would change. However, I ended up deleting the whole post when
I found out they were posting pictures of garments (I had quit reading comments
on it because the comments made me cry) and I unsubscribed from that
neighborhood group page. Several friends
have texted me or reached out to me to let me know they support me and that
they left the neighborhood page too. Yesterday
I woke up scared that those neighbors would seek out my home and start taping
those pictures on my door or dropping dirty magazines in my backyard or
something. I’m still feeling a bit
bruised by it all, but I’ll be ok. I’m
sad not to be able to know when people in the neighborhood need help, but
really there wasn’t that much good on that page anyway. Comments have gotten meaner over the last few
months. It is sad that Facebook can
create a mob mentality so quickly since people don’t have to look at those who
they are hurting. I think Facebook can
do a lot of good though too. I lost a few
hours of sleep for two nights over the whole ordeal and I cried a lot of tears,
but it has made me stronger and I will continue to be kind and stand up for
what is right. I won’t be victimized into
changing who I am.
Today I thought of
things that have built my courage over the years. Growing up on the ranch helped me build a lot
of courage. When I was little I was
pretty much always scared to go riding, the horses were so big and sometimes jumpy. The cows and bulls scared me when we had to
cut calves or bulls out of the heard.
Playing the piano has helped me build courage too. Accompanying for the first time in young
women’s, performing piano solos, accompanying in concerts or in church used to
be terrifying. I’ve gotten less scared
over the years, but still feel pretty nervous if a song is challenging. What has built your courage?
I’ll close with a
few thoughts. My friend Frank Sanderson
shared a video with this quote. "You slowly become the average of the five
people you associate with the most” (Jim Rohn). I thought a lot about that quote after
watching his video and I realized it can apply to many other things in life.
You become the average of the five things you read the most, watch the most,
eat the most, listen to the most, and most importantly DO the most.
The last thought I’ll
shared is from our gospel doctrine lesson on the brother of Jared. It was pointed out in the lesson that the
Lord told the brother of Jared how to get air in the barges he built, but he
asked the brother of Jared to come up with his own plan to get light. I’ve felt that means the Lord will help
magnify our plans and ideas to fulfil our callings and that there is more than
one right way to further the Lord’s work.
My friend Angie Randall shared the thought that the Lord will give us
air and things we need to live like a body, the earth, etc., but he wants us to
use our agency to search out light and truth on our own. He will not force us to find light. It is beautifully symbolic.
I hope you are all
happy, healthy and that you have people who will pray for you and who will also
stand up for you and defend you.
Love,
Mindy
