Is The Church of Jesus Chirst of Latter-Day Saints responsible for it's LGBTQ teen's suicide? No.

This week I had an experience that caused me anxiety and heavy heart. On Monday I shared an old conference talk by President Kimball on my Relief Society Facebook page. My post said something like this:  “Brother LeSueur wasn’t kidding yesterday in Stake conference when he said the old conference talks were very direct. Listen to this talk by President Kimball.
I don’t want to debate the talk. I know some church policies have changed.  I just thought you may be interested in reading how direct the talk is.”
Voices of the Past, of the Present, of the Future
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1971/04/voices-of-the-past-of-the-present-of-the-future?id=title1#title1

Well all was fine and good until Tuesday morning when one of the sisters in our RS Facebook group, who I used to visit teach, but who is now inactive and kind of against the church made this comment:  "We were the little kids listening to that, at least I was.  It's striking as an adult to listen to that talk.  My heart goes out to all LGBTQ.  We were raised to fear, judge, condemn, and despise another person based on their sexual preference. Could you imagine being from that community and raised to loath yourself, by parents who also were taught so much fear and prejudice?  We are paying for it today.  The tragic escalation of suicide it the LDS LGBTQ communities is staggering.  One of the highest suicide rates among teens, and leading causes of death among our youth.  Just heartbreaking."

I was sick to my heart. I had tried to find a safe place to share that talk where I wouldn’t have to debate or defend it. Defending my beliefs takes a lot out of me (it also helps me grow, but ...I wasn’t ready for that) and Facebook debates are a waste of time so I deleted the whole post. Later that morning it was still weighing on my heart that my friend may be offended that I deleted the post.  And I love her and want to know her heart and want her to know mine, so I sent her this personal text message:  “I deleted my post because I really didn’t want to debate that talk. Facebook debates are a huge waste of time and cause me anxiety. I appreciate your thoughts and respect your opinions. If you want to talk about things in person I would love to, but I don’t want to discuss it online or over text.”  I also posted a similar message on the RS Facebook group so people would know I’m willing to talk about sensitive issues with them.

Anyway I pondered a lot about what she said that the church is basically the cause of suicides. That is false. I think the blame needs to go where it is due, to Satan. He gets people to listen to negative self-talk and he’s the one who tells people their life isn’t worth living. The leaders of the church do preach against homosexual sin, not homosexual desire, but they also preach these type of loving truths: “...however late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines” (Elder Holland).

I also pondered and about how the church has changed their style of teaching their view of homosexuality and its causes. I can only imagine how hard it would be to have homosexual desires and to have knowledge of God’s plan of families.  The church is much more caring and understanding to individuals who have homosexual desires than they were in the past.  For which I am grateful.   I know the leaders of the church are called of God and that He leads their church, but I also know that leaders of the church are “striving to do their best, but none of them yet perfect” (Elder Ballard, April 2018).  Sometimes as a parent I warn of punishments instead of parenting with love and teaching the reasons why my children should obey, maybe some of the church leaders did that too?

I have some dear cousins who wish the church would make big changes in their policies regarding homosexuality, bigger than the change the church just made this most conference where children of same sex parents can now be baptized and same sex married couples are not excommunicated. I’m not sure what else my cousins want to change. I haven’t had the courage or strength to ask them. Although with my limited knowledge, I don’t know how the doctrine could be changed. Heavenly Father wants us to have eternal life and to be parents like Him. (Moses 1:39) According to my current knowledge, same sex partners cannot have eternal increase. The choice to marry someone of your same sex stops eternal progression. I feel the church will always preach against something that stops eternal progression.  Eternal perspective is a must.

Anyway, those are some of my thoughts. Please know that I will lend a non-judgmental, loving, listening ear if any of my family and friends want to talk to me in person about any issue. I won’t discuss sensitive matters over text or email though. Too many things get misunderstood that way.  Also know that I will defend the church.  I have covenanted to do so.  I guess I better get stronger and get used to playing defense!

Love,
Mindy