Marriage and Family Interview

My sister-in-law Hayley asked me to answer these questions about mine and Chad's courtship and marriage for an essay she's writing for her marriage and family class.

How were they attracted to each other and how did they meet?

• ·         I was attracted to Chad because he was obedient, kind, respectful, fun, and we had common interests.  We both like to play sports.
• ·         I met Chad in college.  We were in the same student ward and in the same family home evening group.  We also had choir together at school and we both went to open gym and played volleyball.

 How would you explain their dating experience in terms of length, activities, etc.

• ·         We dated for about 1 ½ months before we got engaged.  I had a mission call and was set to report to the MTC two months after we started dating so we had to make a decision quickly.  Once we started dating we spent as much time with each other as possible, we spent every evening together.  We didn’t have a lot of money so we didn’t go out to eat or to the movie theater, but we went to institute and singles ward activities, hung out with our friends and watched movies at my condo.

 How did they know they wanted to marry one another?

• ·         I knew I wanted to marry Chad because he was obedient, wanted a family, and I knew I could trust him to help me make it to the Celestial Kingdom.

Did they have premarital counseling? What type? Would they recommend that couples have it? Why or why not?

• ·         No we didn’t have premarital counseling.  I don’t really know what premarital counseling is since I’ve never been so I don’t know if I’d recommend it.  I think as long as a couple has seen good role models with a healthy marriage then they will probably be ok without premarital counseling.

How did getting married change their relationship and them as individuals?

• ·         I feel like getting married made us closer and brought more joy into our lives individually.  I felt more complete, like part of me had been missing.  For several years before we got married I had a strong desire to be married, but not to be married to just anyone, to the right person.  To someone who viewed marriage and life the same way I did.  I found that in Chad and it has made life so wonderful.

How does this couple divide up chores and family functions, would you say they are more traditional or egalitarian? Explain with specific examples.

• ·         Since I am a stay at home mom and am home most of the time I do most of the household chores.  On Saturday nights after the kids go to bed we both work together to sweep and mop and clean the kitchen so the house is clean for the Sabbath Day.  I do the majority of the yard work too because I enjoy working in the yard and because I don’t want to spend my weekend watching Chad do the yard work.  I would rather get it done during the week so we can relax together and/or go on family outings.
• ·         For family functions we trade off each year which side of the family we visit for Thanksgiving.  For Christmas we stay at home.  We enjoy spending time with extended family on both sides of our family so we try to attend as many special occasions and family functions and reunions as we can.

Are their child-rearing practices similar to their parents? Do they tend to agree on discipline?

• ·         Yes, our child-rearing practices are similar to our parents. 
• ·         Yes, we agree on discipline.

How does this couple maintain marital satisfaction?

• ·         To maintain marital satisfaction we try to have charity towards each other and to make each other happy.  It makes me happy to see Chad happy and I know it makes Chad happy when I’m happy too.

Have they ever had anything strain their marriage? How did they overcome the problem?

• ·         No we haven’t ever had anything strain our marriage.  Neither of us is confrontational so we get along well.  We’ve had some sad trials, but have comforted each other through them and we communicate well. 

What advice would they give to someone who is considering marriage? What do you think of

that advice?

• ·         You should have charity towards your significant other.  Their happiness should be your happiness and vice versa.
• ·         If you are willing and happy to serve the person you are considering marrying and if they are willing and happy to serve you then I think you can have a happy marriage.    
• ·         You should have similar goals, dreams and financial lifestyles.
• ·         Your significant other should be honest.  If you've ever caught them in a lie that should be a big red flag.
• ·         Don’t take offense easily.  Your significant other should never try to hurt you intentionally.  If you are offended by something, you should communicate those feelings quickly before they have a chance to rot and fester.  They need to be resolved quickly and behavior should be modified so it won’t happen again.