Letter - Birthday, What all does the Atonement Cover?, Agency and Judgement

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Happy birthday to my dear sister Crystal Petersen!  I sure love her and don’t mind a bit that I am her look-a-like and have been called Crystal or little Crystal my entire life.  I’m looking forward to our families going on a cruise together in 29 days!!  It’s going to be so much fun.

Things have gotten interesting in our ward and stake over the last week.  Last Sunday we had four wards split out of our stake and our old ward got split into 3 pieces.  My family and I have been moved from Coronado 2nd ward into Coronado 1st ward.  I am no longer the YW's president.  I feel a great relief and great sadness.  I'm going to miss my young women so, so much. They were a blessing to me.  I loved feeling the direction and love that the Lord had for them.  I get sad when I think of certain things that were coming up that I was looking forward to doing with the young women.  I was really looking forward to ward girl’s camp and taking the girls up to Snowflake.  However, it really is a big relief to be released and a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  I'm going to miss my old ward so much; I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it was.  It truly was the best of the best.  Luckily we can take our separate parts and now make three wonderful wards. Growth is good even if it is painful.

On Monday night before our FHE lesson we held a family council. We shared ideas of how to get to know people in our new ward and how to keep our new ward great. This is what we came up with:

1. Go talk to people you don't know. 
2. Take new teachers a treat. 
3. Greet people. 
4. Sit by someone new each week.
5. Periodically invite different families to our home for a game/dessert night. 
6. Be reverent in class. 
7. Find out who plays basketball. (Chad cracks me up.)

I have been spoiled all week for my birthday.  Tuesday afternoon my friend Sharon Miller took me to lunch for my birthday.  It was so nice to visit with her.  I am so sad that we will be in different wards from each other, but luckily we live just down the street from each other so as long as we make an effort we will still see each other. 

Wednesday was my birthday.  Spencer surprised me and set up birthday decorations while Chad and I were out playing volleyball on Tuesday night.  The kids each picked out a gift for me and I opened them on Wednesday morning.  Around noon Chad, Tilly and I went to Joe’s BBQ to get my free lunch.  Chad had worked from home all morning and then left from lunch to go to the bank.  After lunch Tilly and I walked across the street to Liberty Market to get free dessert.  That evening we had dinner at home and spent the evening together.  It was a nice day.

Thursday morning I was able to go to the temple while Tilly went to Grammy Days.  Then my friend Kristen Wilcox took Tilly and me to lunch for my birthday.  Several of our other friends joined us: Lindsey Bowen, Nicole Rudd, Chelsea Snell, Heather Robinson, Michele Sorenson, Milea Hall, Brittany Call, Melissa Lantz, Sherry Sedillo, Andrea Taylor, Allison Trotter, and Rebecca Hall.  Plus two of my former young women, Megan Sedillo and McKenzie Rudd, came too!  It was a big lunch date.  I’m so lucky to have such wonderful friends.  They bless my life so much and mean a lot to me.  I’m grateful that we have these lunch dates for each other’s birthdays.  It has been a joy to serve with them in my ward.  I think we’ll still be close friends even though we are split up between three wards now.

Chad took Friday off work.  Every year for my birthday I ask him to take the day off work, but since Friday was Fathers and Sons he took Friday off instead which was fine with me.  That morning he took Tilly and me to breakfast at the Henhouse Café on Higley and Guadalupe.  It was voted 2015 best breakfast spot in Gilbert.  The food was SO good.  Their prices are pretty good too.  They have pancakes as big as a large pizza.  We didn’t order them, but we saw someone else order them and they were really big.  I really want to take my boys there and have them order the pancakes.  I think they will go crazy over them.  One order of pancakes could probably feed all my kids.  The kids had a half day of school on Friday so Chad and the boys left to their outing around 12:30.  The girls and I had a fun time without them.  We went to see Miracles from Heaven, ate dinner at the new Costa Vida near us, walked about a mile to the blue park since we all ate too much, played for a while and then walked home and watched the Jungle Book. 

I’ve sure been grateful for all the nice well wished this week for my birthday.  I am so blessed to have such good family and friends.  Thank you, thank you.

I’ve struggled over the last few weeks with feelings of failure as a mother.  I feel like I keep falling short.  That I am messing my kids’ lives up.  That when they are adults they won’t be well adjusted or that they won’t want to be around me anymore.  I apologize to my kids when I mess up and tell them that I’m doing my best and I try to do better, but how many times can that work?  One night in particular after I felt like I really messed up I prayed that somehow the Lord could make up for my misgivings, that he could help my kids feel my love for them and help them know that I am doing my best and that He will make up for the times when I don’t teach things in the best way and when I end up hurting their feelings.  I hope he can make up for all the places where I lack.  I hope the atonement covers that.  Do you think it does?

My quote for today is from the book Jesus the Christ.  Since I finished my personal progress I decided to start reading that book again in the mornings with my scripture study.  I got about half way through it when Chad and I were newly married, but it was hard to understand and I gave up.  I’ve started it over and I understand it better now.  I’m grateful to have noticed some spiritual progression in my life.  I especially liked the history behind why the book was written.  It is pretty cool that Elder Talmage wrote it in the temple.  Anyway here’s the quote.  “[Heavenly Father] saw the evil into which His children would assuredly fall, and with infinite love and mercy did He ordain means of averting the dire effect, provided the transgressor would elect to avail himself thereof. …The father of souls has endowed His children with the divine birthright of free agency; He does not and will not control them by arbitrary force; He impels no man toward sin; He compels none to righteousness. Unto man has been given freedom to act for himself; and, as associated with this independence, is the fact of strict responsibility and the assurance of individual accountability. In the judgment with which we shall be judged, all the conditions and circumstances of our lives shall be considered. The inborn tendencies due to heredity, the effect of environment whether conducive to good or evil, the wholesome teaching of youth, or the absence of good instruction—these and all other contributory elements must be taken into account in the rendering of a just verdict as to the soul’s guilt or innocence. Nevertheless, the divine wisdom makes plain what will be the result with given conditions operating on known natures and dispositions of men, while every individual is free to choose good or evil within the limits of the many conditions existing and operative.” (James E. Talmage, Jesus the Christ, p, 17, 27-28).  I'm grateful to have re-learned these teachings about agency and judgement this morning. I'm grateful for the ability to choose. I'm grateful that all the conditions and circumstance of my life shall be considered. I'm grateful the Lord looks on the heart. I'm grateful it is the Lord's judgement that matters, not man's judgment.

Love,

Mindy