Letter - Modesty

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

I’m late with my letter.  Sunday was a busy, busy day.  I had lots of church meetings.  The second Sunday of the month is usually a busy for me and there was an added fireside on top of the normal meetings.  The fireside was pretty cool though.  It was a priest and laurel fireside.  The speakers were from our stake and are husband and wife.  They were really funny and had good things to say.  I heard that they have spoken at “Time Out for Women” and stuff like that so they were very polished speakers. 

On Sunday, April 6th we went to visit my nephew Westin who recently broke his leg.  Karalee was happy to sign his cast.

Bryant researched how to make some origami creations that evening as well.

Monday the 7^th of April Chad was quite sick.  He had nausea, chills and was congested.  He called in sick to work and didn’t emerge from our room until evening.  He did pull out his computer and work from bed for a little while in the afternoon.

  

Tuesday the 8^th for mutual the laurels came over to my house after opening exercises at the church and we did indexing for our activity.  I took recommendations from the laurels for the dessert for our activity and the first recommendation I got was for cheesecake.  I made a nice no bake cheesecake and it was so good.  I’ll have to post the recipe later.

I mailed out Sydney and Jewel's prize for correctly identifying that the quote "For Freeeeeee" was from the movie Bedtime Stories.  They were the only two people who submitted an answer so I gave them both a sonic gift card.  You can't win if you don't play.  :) 

Last Wednesday Brenda was out of town so we didn’t have Grammy Days.  I took the girls to touch the temple and then we went to feed the ducks at Discovery Park.  After that we went shopping at Ross.  I found a lot of cute stuff, but now that I’ve tried it on at home and inspected it more closely I’m going to return most of it.  L  I would like to find some cute new pants and capris. 

Tilly loves books.  She sits in this spot often looking a books.   

She also likes to line them up into a path.

The older girls watching TV.

Thursday I did some yard work in the front yard for a few hours and I “gave the bushes a haircut” at least that’s what Marlee called it. 

Friday during the last mile of my walk the girls and I decided to pick one of every different color/type of flower we could find.  It was a fun springtime activity.  That morning I did some of our Relief Society “A More Personal Relationship with the Savior” journaling activity.  I posted what I wrote on my blog.  Friday evening we couldn’t find a babysitter and Spencer had football practice so we took all the rest of the kids on a family date.  We tried a new restaurant with some of our restaurant.com gift certificates that I got from the glass company that replaced our windshield.  The restaurant was ok.  There are not many restaurants on restaurants.com that we like. 

Marlee and our friend Victoria with all the different types of flowers we collected on our walk.

Saturday morning Bryant had stake cub scout day camp.  He loved it.  Chad and I went out for a breakfast date while he was gone.  Spencer babysat for us.  We ate at Kneaders Bakery and got French toast.  It’s all you can eat, but it is so rich that I couldn’t eat more than the first plate they brought me.  Chad was able to eat a third piece though.  It is incredible French toast though, it’s thick cinnamon bread dipped in French toast batter caramel syrup and whipped cream!!  You should try it.  Bryant had a football game at noon and Spencer had a game at 2:00.  That evening I went to two of my YW’s play at Williams Field High School.  It was ok.  I would have liked it better if they were actually acting in it.  One of the girls directed one of the short plays and the other girl was part of the stage crew.  When I got home from the play it was about 9:00pm and I had lots to do to get ready for my meetings on Sunday and to get prepared for Sunday dinner and to get the house cleaned and ready for the Sabbath day.  I was also pretty worn out, I had headaches almost every day last week because my neck has been tight, I wasn’t getting enough sleep and I wasn’t looking forward to my busy day the next day.  I tried to have a good cry about it on my way to the store to get things for Sunday dinner, but when I started to cry I had the thought, “Why are you crying?  Your husband is home rocking your baby to sleep and your son is home helping you with your Young Women’s stuff.  You have so much to be thankful for.  You don’t need to cry about it.”  This is so true; I do have a lot to be grateful for.  I just needed to suck it up when things get busy. 

Every girl should be so lucky to have such a nice Daddy.

My headaches have been getting a little better this week.  They are the worst when I don’t drink enough water.   I also need to take a bit better care of my neck by keeping up with my neck exercises and stretches.   

Spencer let me rock him for a few minutes.  He'll always be my baby.

Sunday during ward council the subject of modesty came up about one of our new converts.  Modesty has been on my mind a lot lately.  During my PPI with the bishopric member over YW’s I told him that I have been concerned about modesty and shared with him what my thoughts have been.  I told him I haven’t found a good time to teach it yet; I would like to tie it in one of the lessons.  I also told him that I’m quite nervous to teach it because my idea of modesty is not the same as some of our other Young Women’s leaders.  What I would like to teach the girls would make some of the leaders feel very uncomfortable in the skirts they wear to church.  He said pleadingly, “You need to teach it, it needs to be taught.”  After thinking about it we decided it might be best taught in Sacrament meeting.  I’ve also told my friend who works with me in laurels, who happens to have similar modesty standards as I do, about my thoughts and she said, “it needs to be taught.”  Then yesterday in the temple I asked one of the workers what I could share from the temple with my young women about modesty she said with tears in her eyes, “you need to teach, it needs to be taught.”  This whole week I have had several thoughts going through my head about how and what to teach about modesty.  I have been emotional as I realize that this is going to stir things up quite a bit.  I don’t hesitate to teach this because I fear people will not like me anymore, but I do hesitate because I do not want people to feel like I am judging them.  I am not a judge, but I am a teacher and I will be held accountable for the things that I am supposed to teach.  I do not want to make people feel like I am superior to them.  I don’t want to make women feel uncomfortable.  However, I want to help my young women of my ward realize the great blessings that can come from being modest and correctly wearing the garments that they will be given in the temple.   

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Tilly woke up around 3:30 this morning and my mind started thinking about modesty again. So after about an hour of unsuccessfully trying to get back to sleep I got up to type out my thoughts.   

These are some of the thoughts about modesty and preparing the young women to wear garments that I’ve had this week:

• In the temple we are taught that garments will protect us from the destroyer.  Yesterday while I was in the temple thinking about what I should teach, the word destroyer really stood out to me.  When I heard that word, my mind opened up and I remembered the account in the Bible about how the destroyer passed over the children of Israel when they put lambs blood on the door posts of their houses.  Wearing our garments may be as important to us as putting the blood on the door posts was to the children of Israel.  Garments should not casually or frequently be removed.  Did the children of Israel go out and wipe off the blood for a while?  No, that would have been unthinkable and foolish.  So it is with removing our garments for activities that can feasibly be done by keeping them on.  Elder Carlos E. Asay, former president of the Salt Lake Temple said, “I fear that too many Church members take for granted the promise of protection and blessings associated with the temple garment. Some wear it improperly, and others remove it to suit whims of circumstance. In such cases, the instructions of modern prophets, seers, and revelators are ignored and spiritual protection placed in jeopardy” (The Temple Garment: “An Outward Expression of an Inward Commitment”).
• In the For the Strength of Youth Booklet we are taught that “Young women should avoid short shorts and short skirts.” How short is too short?  That is a personal decision.   I will tell you the standard that I had when I was growing up.  My parent’s standard was that shorts and skirts should be able to touch the floor while when you kneel down.  I was held to a strict standard.  After you go to the temple and receive garments the standard for shorts and skirts is a little different.  In the temple it mentions that garments should cover the kneecap.  I am pretty tall and my garments don’t actually reach my kneecaps.  So does that mean I only have to cover my garments?   A few years ago when President Riggs, our former stake president, taught that we should clothe our bodies in such a way to cover up the parts of our bodies where the garments are supposed to cover. 
• In our stake conference last April Pres. Hatch from the Mesa AZ temple presidency taught us that the temple garment needs to be clothed properly.  He said it is not respectful to lounge around the house in uncovered garments.
• Quoting from the For the Strength of Youth booklet again it says, “Immodest clothing is any clothing that is tight, sheer, or revealing in any other manner.  Young women should avoid shirts that do not cover the stomach, and clothing that does not cover the shoulders or is low-cut in the front or the back. … Young men and young women should choose appropriately modest apparel when participating in sports.  The fashions of the world will change, but the Lord’s standards will not change.”   When you play sports, exercise, go to dance, etc. do you choose modest clothes that are in harmony with the counsel given in For the Strength of Youth?  There are modest active wear choices that are not skin tight, that cover the shoulders and are not too short. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the latter day saint youth stood up for modesty and helped design modest costumes and uniforms for dance and sports?
• Garments do not need to be removed to exercise.  It is a myth that you should not sweat a lot in your garments.  If that were the case, those of us who live in the desert would not be able to wear garments for several months in the summer. J When you remove garments, you remove blessings and protection. 
• We are instructed to wear garments day and night.  We live in a busy day and age where activities follow each other back to back with little down time in between.  If garments are removed for exercise, much of the day may go by before they are replaced.  Also, when you remove your garments to go to the gym before you know it you’ve also done many other things without your garments on, taken the kids to school, run errands, cleaned up the house, etc. 
• This is a song I heard while I was in Young Women’s.  I think I only heard it one time and it has always stuck with me.

Modesty is always in style,

It never goes out it’s in.

It comes in the latest fashions,

In styles that are sure to win.

It’s the very best way to dress for life.

A way for others to see,

The kind of person that lives inside of me.

• ·         In a letter to priesthood leaders dated 10 October 1988, the First Presidency made the following important statements regarding how the garment should be worn:

“Church members who have been clothed with the garment in the temple have made a covenant to wear it throughout their lives. This has been interpreted to mean that it is worn as underclothing both day and night. This sacred covenant is between the member and the Lord. Members should seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit to answer for themselves any personal questions about the wearing of the garment. … The promise of protection and blessings is conditioned upon worthiness and faithfulness in keeping the covenant.

“The fundamental principle ought to be to wear the garment and not to find occasions to remove it. Thus, members should not remove either all or part of the garment to work in the yard or to lounge around the home in swimwear or immodest clothing. Nor should they remove it to participate in recreational activities that can reasonably be done with the garment worn properly beneath regular clothing. When the garment must be removed, such as for swimming, it should be restored as soon as possible.

“The principles of modesty and keeping the body appropriately covered are implicit in the covenant and should govern the nature of all clothing worn. Endowed members of the Church wear the garment as a reminder of the sacred covenants they have made with the Lord and also as a protection against temptation and evil. How it is worn is an outward expression of an inward commitment to follow the Savior.” (The Temple Garment: “An Outward Expression of an Inward Commitment”).

Well those are my thoughts.  I’m nervous to teach them, but I will do it anyway.

Love,

Mindy